21032012

Oh la la! It's been awhile but now I'm back! Hey, I think maybe I need some surgery for my face lol, maybe do double eyelid, make my nose higher, lips...thicker? Nah, I don't want to have a really thick lips, it's somehow horrible ._.

Well, I was just at home now, everyday need to staying back at school until 3 or 4PM for activities. It might exhausted me but I think it worth, don't you think so? Every activity or programs are benefits us, if not then why teachers bother w it? Hmph. I used to nagging on everything and think that everyone or matters happened w sucks reasons but ... Okay I just ... I know everything happens w reasons larh and I should just take the responsibility right :/// By the way, I had been chosen to be in netball team! At first I don't have much interest in Netball somehow I think it's troublesome and hot weather blah blah blah. But soon, I've fall in love w it! Netball was a really awesome game, I never gain any interest in any of games, especially about BALL games lol. *tsk tsk* oh and my teammate had chosen me as shooter which I need to standing under the GOAL, and once my teammate passed the ball for me, I can't move any of my feet and need to straight shoot the ball into the GOAL. Aw, guess what, they praised me! They said I can really be a shooter, they say I can shoot very well! I was so damn proud of myself heh. It somehow gained my self confidence, seriously. No one really praised me when playing games together. Aw, I'm so touched. Next Thursday gonna be the competition day at Permas Jaya and unfortunately today was the first day we all get training together. Everyone is still newbie and my teammate are all seem like BLURRED hahahahaha. Proud of myself for joining Netball competition, proud of myself being a shooter, proud of myself for putting efforts on this game, proud of myself for playing game and being active. I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! Aw, I love myself thou my face was so damn dark and red due to training under the sun but I am still satisfied of my decision! Aw yeah! But at the same time, I'm gonna strike and fight for my suck results! I was so disappointed of my results, I thought I can get better. Of course I could but please please please Pelly, stop being lazy, you are ruining your future bitch! I want every of my relatives proud of me, especially those saying study Form 6 was useless and no future. I'm gonna show you my ego and my good results as well! Who say people study in college only get brighter future? Who say so? Form 6 is having the same level as Singapore A level. I don't say people who study in college are all rich or cannot study, I just don't want any of my friends or even RELATIVES kept saying study Form 6 is actually wasting time. Just STFU and stop comparing please. I've chosen my road, then I will gain my own confident and continue to walk and walk and walk until the end of my life. This is my choice, not yours, so can you please hurting me? It hurts when your lovely kin saying those hurtful words. I was shocked when he said all of these, I was like " Har? Are you talking to me? Seriously? *haiz* " C'mon, it's 21st century! Be more polite please, think before you talk. Although  you are much older than me and having much experiences but it doesn't mean that everything you talked are true. Thus, who say only study in college are only able to get overseas? Who say? Who who who say? *Selena Gomez Hahahahaha* Okay, it's sorta useless for shouting at here lol, k, gonna off and take my bathe then homework then revision. Bye lovely friends, xx!

Out of my expectation.

I know. Since the day I chose for being slut, I should have known that my doomed day is actually coming. I know, someday she will found out. But he rejected me! So I actually don't have any fucking relationship with your boyfriend. So what if I had a crush on him. Now he's the one who doesn't want to let go of me, he said he needs me. You knew this. Now your posting shit on your wall and saying that I'm the FAKER? Screw you sial bitch, I thought there's some way for us, but now you even acting like a kitty and trying to get some pathetic from your fucking friends? F you bitch! stop acting like your so innocent. Im f hate both of you, so irritating and disgusting! say whatever you want, I don't farking care you bitch! Get a life, coward! Always kutuk from behind! Fuck you!

07032012

Fuyohh! I left my bloggg baby alone for few months huhh. FUHHH, cause of the feeling of BORED lead me to blogger to post somethin xD Today I skipped school sial due to my bloody fever and sore throat. Last night gave my baby Hoon a call, inform her that I would skip school for the next day then informed Piq, just don't wish Pika wait for me. I don't want to go to a doctor cause for me, fever and sore throat is just kind of small matters right? Duh, I'm feeling better now. Actually during this morning, about 6AM, I am feeling OKAY and feel like going to school but then I asked Piq to inform Pika that I would skip school and don't wish to make anyone feeling troublesome so... I chose to skip -_-

I miss her so so so so muchhh! :( Last night I was thinking... Since when I chose to being a cheerful girl? Since when I chose to be so think-for-the-others? Since when I chose to be crying alone than telling anyone of my bitter secrets? Since when...? Maybe after coming back from Camp Kaizen LOL. Few of them telling me that people think that Camp Kaizen was totally torturing them but only me saying that Camp Kaizen changed me, a lot. Seriously Yes. Maybe I never been to a place, which is so pretty? It's not somehow pretty but that place gave me a feeling... A feeling of soft and comfortable... I chose to put down every burdens, haters, loves... I thought those would tie me down for real long time but after I putting down everything, I was actually even more happy... Pika... Piq... Everyone... Actually they mean a lot to me... I might being silent for really long time but actually I am satisfied and being happy. I might once hurt anyone but at least I was willing to do anything for trying to bury my faults and every misunderstanding; I might once hate anyone of them but now at least I was willing to open my heart and accept everyone, they are all special and good. People are awesome, why would I choose to be hateful? Ah... I've changed. HAHAHAHA.

I miss her, I miss him, I miss friends. Since I was young, I mean when I was in primary school, I am the kind of person which is dare to say my own mind out. I am not that kind of person that hiding their own feelings without telling anyone or sharing their mind with friends. I don't mind being hurt or hate, as long as I've shared my thoughts, no matter people choose to be accept or unacceptable, I don't care. But guess what, my so-Leo-personality brought me some friends. Haha. People might don't like to be friends with me but for me, true friends, a few were enough. I don't need 100000000000000000000000 friends to be with me. As long as there are few of them that would stand for me. God bless, I've found them...

I told him, everything. He says he had a crush on me. I was surprised. He says he likes my attitude, he loves to talk to me but then every time we do not have any time for being together. I was wrong... I was so wrong, I should have always talk to him. God, why were you playing this shitty game with me? He is now with his girl. He is in a sweet relationship. I wish him good luck. I know someday we would be meet again. I promised you, we would not be awkward when seeing each other. All I want to say is, how much I wish we met before you meeting her. Both of you, must be blissful. I do not want to be a third party. So, good luck.









Ah. I was so ... I am not that emotional anymore. I've changed, so friends, lets' party and cheers for my changing. I am so in love with myself. xx

02122011

It's had been discovered. Seriously I've tried my best to cover all of these and of course about us but they still found out. Something, maybe some way, incredibly, I mean their own way. I try to be with you until next year, maybe end of next year but ya know since they found out, I got no choice to make my own decision. I couldn't do any decision without think for my family. Really sorry and feel so guilty for you. I'm not able to do anything anymore. ILY & IMY.

*cries*

22102011

Yay babeh it's hols! Yeah I mean 1 week hols but I still need to study for PP papers fml. Hi readers, how's life? Everything still running smoothly huh? Don't forget to drink more water, don't fall sick k! Ah, my life ... mystery ... He is so busy, can't even text with me for awhile. Baby, concentrate on your competition okay? Your baby is always by your side. Iloveyou! *mwah!







Biong!

20102011

Oh yeah oh yeah, date of the day : 20102011! Mwahahhaa that's cool! OH YEAH, my friend told me that erm I was kinda weird in these a few days cause he say I can change my mood in 1 second. I was like LOL cause I'm a girl, I can even change to a bitch in 1 second and that's really slow, ops. Wanna know why I can change my F mood to WOW mood in 1 second? Pay me. lolll. Cause of my favourite band sing to me everyday -- 2NE1! Rock it on 2NE1 *MWAH! Hm. My brain was stucked, again. Err, I will update soon, take care readers!






Biong!

A post with VULGAR!

I really don't understand how can a boy can't even make a simple decision and I really get frustrated. What the fark are you talking about? What do you mean by " You make the decision " ?! Are your brain full of rubbish! I am not your toy or even your girl or I've been F by you, you son of bitch! Stop acting like innocent just want to cheat my feeling towards you! I don't F care if you reject me but why are you so mean! I wasn't craving for boys! For me, my feeling towards you was so precious, so true from my heart but what the hella you say?! You told me you just broken up with your girlfriend and give me every hopes! But seriously I was just too stupid to believe your words. I shouldn't be like this. Maybe I shouldn't scolding a boy like a dog and using dirty words. It's my fault, it's all my fault for believing in you. I was so dissappointed in you, why are you cheating me? I told you, it's impossible that you can give up your girl in a few days some more you're with her for almost 5 years. But you told me it's over between both of you and you gives me hope again. I told you, I don't wanna be third party, I don't wish to and guess what, you said, we will be together, you will be understand me and we will be happy. But why? Why you destroy a dream? A dream that you made for me? Why are you hurting me that much? How can you saying those unresponsible sentences. What do you mean by : If you wanna be with me, I'm okay with it but if u don't want to, I can get back my ex. WHAT THE FARK? I don't F want to be with a boy who are always keep their ex girlfriend in their Farking mind! But you just simply don't get what I mean and now, you're just keep on avoiding me and guess what, we are gonna meet up tomorrow morning and I won't be acting sad face in front of you like a kitty or acting like a child missing their blanket! I don't Farking care about you anymore! You better F off and GET A LIFE! SCREW YOU!

Caryn was right and I was so touched when I saw these. She wrote these :
how many fucking hell times I have told you!! study now and no more in love, it's still not the time for you too in love now! aint' you not qualified or you not enough good! It's the time, you got no much of time pelly, you have hella long time for u to fall in love with someone next time, but now is time for study just strike for it ! what if you just busying in love now and neglect ur studyes and the man dump you after that? you got nothing in the end, you bitch ! can u understand?!! Just give yourself sometime and chance just to concentrate in study, you got no guarantee on any man, but you can find guarantee in studies... who says woman can't lives without man ! we're actually stronger than them and dont even need their token to survive, you know what ! we can make by ourself ! let the boys regret what they have done to us and what freaking word they said that hurt us! I got no bf, not even have the experience, I know what they think, im fat , im ugly , im rude , thats why they got no interest at me ! so what? I'm going to change my life , I will go for diet and study hard as I want to become a knowledgeable woman! I know my uncle always look me down, coz Im not good in study, I dont give him a damn! I dont care, I hate him, and I never talk to him a year since I have conflict with him! Thats makes me even hate boys !!! I know they look me down! thats why we need to do more betther than them pelly ! If what I slim down and become pretty someday! I'll pay them back ! like what I want to say " can see, but can't touch " got it??! I want them to regret! coz boy born to be son of a bitch mann!! So, pelly you shouldn't think that u wasn't good enough or what, you know what! okeyy! as I say, no more love from now on ! love yourself more than you love a boy ! thats all! NOW ! go and study ur bloody history! fuck it back girl<3

You're just in way too HOT baby caryn! I will remember what you've said to me! Now is 1.38AM and I gotta off my computer and study for my bloody history!



Fuck back haters!
Goodbye readers, goodnight and rock it on! \m/